HGTV’s “Flip or Flop” series, which documented the former couple’s relationship, is ending after 10 years. The show documented their split in 2016. Christina Haack, who has divorced three of her husbands during her HGTV reign, has kept a private life throughout her career. Christina and Ant Anstead were willing to let cameras into their home for her new renovation series, Christina on the Coast.
Tarek El Moussa filed for divorce from his wife Christina in January 2017, citing reasons such as their growing fame and a series. On May 15, HGTV announced a new competition series called The Flip Off, featuring Christina and Josh Hall facing off against her ex-husband Tarek El Moussa. Christina and Josh Hall are getting a divorce, with Josh Hall seeking spousal support from his estranged wife, while Christina Hall asks the court not to award alimony to either party.
The divorce comes shortly after announcing the HGTV show “The Flip Off”. Christina Hall and Josh Hall have experienced marital troubles well before news of their split. Christina Hall and Josh Hall have been married since 2009 and separated in 2016.
In 2024, Christina Hall and Josh Hall filed for a dissolution of marriage due to “irreconcilable differences” on the show. Christina Hall and Josh Hall have experienced marital troubles before the news of their split, and the situation with their HGTV series The Flip Off with Tarek El Moussa remains unclear.
📹 How To Save Marriage On The Brink Of Divorce
Dr. Paul gives us simple principles to help save a marriage that is on the brink of divorce. Remember, easy and simple are not the …
Are Joanna and her husband still together?
Joanna Gaines and her husband Chip celebrated their 21st anniversary by sharing side-by-side photos of them together in New York City in 2003 and 2024. Gaines expressed gratitude for their ability to help her make dreams and thoughts a reality, describing their journey as wild and crazy yet peaceful. She also expressed gratitude for the life they get to share together, highlighting the importance of stepping into one’s dreams and embracing the journey together.
Are Chip and Jo still renovating houses?
The popular television personalities Chip and Joanna Gaines have commenced a new home renovation project in a recently developed neighborhood in the vicinity of Lake Waco, Texas. The couple presents their design plans for a 1960s home with dramatic cliffside views, discusses the demolition process, and outlines the challenges they face in transforming the home into an updated architectural style. The trailer for the television programme “Fixer Upper” The Lakehouse presents a showcase of their work and their dedication to the project.
Which home renovation couple divorced?
In December 2016, Christina Hall and Tarek El Moussa, who co-starred in the television program “Flip or Flop,” announced their separation. They have two children, a daughter named Taylor and a son named Brayden. Hall was previously married to Ant Anstead from December 2018 to September 2020. They have a son, Hudson, who is four years of age. In a previous statement, Hall indicated that her connection to Josh Hall was “impossible to ignore” upon their initial encounter.
What happened to Ant & Christina?
Ant and Christina, who had been married for less than two years at the time of their separation in September 2020, had welcomed their son Hudson London in 2019. The dissolution of their marriage was finalized in June 2021, with both parties sharing joint custody of Hudson. Ant expressed gratitude for their decision and underscored that their children would continue to be their primary focus. The dissolution of the marriage afforded Ant a novel perspective.
Are Flip or Flop couples back together?
Christina Hall and Tarek El Moussa are reuniting professionally in a new series, The Flip Off. The spin-off will feature Christina and her new husband, realtor Josh Hall, competing against Tarek and his wife, Selling Sunset alum Heather El Moussa. The show will pit them against each other to find, buy, renovate, and flip a house for the biggest financial gain. The series, announced on May 15, is set to air in early 2025.
What season Flip or Flop divorce?
In an episode of their reality television show, El Moussa and Haack discussed the circumstances surrounding their separation from their marriage, which had become a matter of public record. They acknowledged the pressure of flipping houses and the public attention it brought, but they are now working together to support their children. El Moussa underscored that the pressure is currently more pronounced than it was previously.
What is the HGTV show with the divorced couple?
Tarek El Moussa and Christina Anstead will resume their roles on HGTV’s popular series Flip or Flop, in which they will renovate and flip run-down properties in Southern California. Their work will exemplify their expertise in property management and sales.
What happened to DeRon and Paige?
After their breakup, the house flippers, Page Turner and DeRon Page, remain friends and focused on their dreams of becoming HGTV stars. Page and DeRon are currently focused on running their business and working well together. Page is not currently married and is a doting mom to her three daughters, Zaire, Qai, and Quincy, from a previous relationship. They have not considered reuniting in the future.
Who was the contractor Christina cheated with?
Christina, previously employed by the couple, has been the subject of speculation regarding her romantic involvement with contractor Gary Anderson, whom she was photographed holding hands with.
What couple got cancelled on HGTV?
Chip and Joanna Gaines, a popular couple from Waco, Texas, gained fame after their Fixer Upper show on HGTV in 2013. The show, which aired for five seasons, featured the couple’s renovations of their home, which were a hit with viewers. The couple, who are parents of five children, were a part of the show alongside other celebrities like Clint Harp, Jimmy Don Holmes, and Saul “Shorty” Sanchez. After four successful seasons, the couple announced their departure from the network in 2017.
When did Christina divorce Ant?
Ant, who recently divorced Christina, has been spending time with his older children, including Hudson, attending a rugby match with his daughter Amelie and son Archie Anstead. Ant, who shares a son with ex-wife Louise Anstead, shared the news on Instagram. He also announced he has secured a hosting gig on a new automotive show for Discovery Plus. Ant’s recent family adventures and involvement in sports have been a source of happiness for him and his family.
📹 UnPHILtered: What To Ask Yourself Before You Divorce
Dr. Phil offers advice and questions to ask yourself to determine if you are truly ready to divorce. Dr. Phil tells compelling stories …
I’m a child myself just turned 14 today and on my birthday i hear that i now have to pick over my dad or mom i’m been crying for hours trying to solve it but nothing will work this is my fifth article on how to fix it and i think this is the one i’ll show both of them,I know i’m not the only kid going through this but I’m so sorry if you’re going through this aswell.
I saved my marriage a few times by just doing the gratitude thing daily. After 3 days usually I see a difference….it switches your mindset. Here we are 17 yrs later 😆 The problem with the gratitude is that once you see that everything is going well… you stop to do it and after a few months/yrs…. you’re back to square one 😅 so you do it again, you feel it working… and you stop….again 🙄…it’s a vicious circle…. In order to stay in the “euphoric state” you need to continue doing your gratitude 🙏 It changes everything 😊
I just came across this article, my wife and I have been separated for nearly 4 months now. We’ve been going to weekly therapy sessions individually, spoken to priests, I’ve asked her on dates here and there and we enjoy dinner together. It’s been very difficult for me, and her as well. If you days ago we talk and after She told me that She was having on difficult time sleeping missing me, I asked her to return home but she said she isn’t ready. 2 days ago she told me she wants a divorce and I am absolutely devastated. We’ve been together 17 years, married 15 years and I will do absolutely anything to win her back.
I mean I’m here because I feel like I’m more alone in my marriage than when I was single and we had gotten a divorce and got back together to the same! Same crap! And again I’m just a roommate in the house and our son obviously can notice that. So I don’t know if I should just leave. He lies, stone walls me, and spent thanksgiving at his moms. I’m an idiot for getting back together but I love this article thank u and you are hilarious I love it .. I will use this article thank u
My marriage is hanging by a thread… She asked me for divorce and I said yes, but I love her and our family. I will take this challenge. As a husband, I was already doing the 95% months ago. As of now, I am still showing that I care by serving her, getting her stuff she like without her asking for them, and sometimes I try to hear her out even when she doesn’t want to talk to me. But I will still take the challenge and see what happens.
Well, my wife isn’t home yet, but the information in this article is priceless, even if I can’t get her back this helped me feel better. On day 3, there hasn’t been alot of hope but if your in this situation, control you, be a better you. Can’t believe it took losing the love of my life before I would look inside myself…..and I don’t like what I see, got lots of work to do. And don’t underestimate the power of just talking to anyone, about what’s happened, just saying it out loud really made me feel alot better. Good luck!
I am sorry…I watch loads of your articles. I agree with all of the tips you usually give. This is unfortunately what I have been doing almost all of the 30 years being married to my narcissistic husband. I do not receive anything in return on his part…he just love being the recipient of all these things freely while not doing any one thing on his part. Marriage is work on both sides of the union. You can’t force someone to be interested in their own marriage. He is just enjoying the part where he gets to be selfish and reap all the benefits while not bringing anything to the table.
So, I just finished perusal this article and I am sitting here with tears streaming down my cheeks because I now realize that I have failed my wife and the relationship as a result. Although we are not yet divorced I fear so much that it will end up that way and I DO NOT wish to be alone, or more specifically, without her! My wife is amazing in SO many wonderful ways. She loves fully and completely. She gives with her whole heart. My libido and sex drive have diminished and as a result my wife and I rarely connect sexually. Recently I have discovered that my testosterone is quite low. However, until now I have been too scared and anxious to do anything about it. I just hope that I am not too late. I love my wife and love our life together…it is time for me to step-up and be the man she deserves and needs.
The very interesting thing that happens when you actually do this tasks for real, is that you start realizing you were not SO right, and your spouse was not SO wrong. But this kind of awakening happens only when you give it a chance and apply the techniques everyday. It’s like seeing the issues with a brand new clarity. At least this was my experience. Thanks Dr Paul🙏
Just watched your article, and i’m going to start my 5 day experiment,a lot of what you said made soooo much sense, he’s been complaining about those specific things but didn’t believe him. Sometimes hearing it from someone else point if view helps to open your eyes and mind a little more. Thank you. Will post updates during my 5 days.
My wife and step son put a restraining order against me and now my wife has filed for a divorce after being married for 14yrs. The worst part is we have a 11yr old daughter together and she put her on the restraining order so I don’t contact her. It was like a bombshell that I never saw coming. I tried to contact my 19yr old step daughter but she cursed me out and said she hates me and that i was never her dad. I’m really heartbroken and this pain cuts DEEP bcuz i really love my wife and kids. I got a divorce lawyer to protect me legally and fight for child visitation with my 11yr old but what should i do? It’s crazy to say this but I still love my wife and don’t want a divorce but i feel like i have no control over this?
My partner and I aren’t married however we’ve been together for the better part of the past (nearly) 8 years. We’ve hit a really tough spot and I’m so grateful that you’ve shared this with me. You’ve already helped me in being a better parent and helped me grow as a person. I hope that this will help my partner and I save our relationship. I’m planning on using this model for the rest of the time we are together (which I hope turns into a marriage). Thank you! I’m grateful for you and your team. You really are a bright light in the world. ❤
I created an account to post, because I’m not ready to broadcast this to the world under my real name. I came to this article via direct search because my marriage is failing. I’m going to do this 5 day challenge, and it’s actually not going to be that much of a change for me. #1: I’ve already been in this mindset for a few months. I assumed 95% of the focus for saving the marriage months ago… I’ve been actively working on improving my own contribution to “us” and it has not gone unnoticed. I do want her to put in more effort, but I’m not going to openly ask for her to do more… she’s already doing enough. #2 Is new. I will be doing this. I’ll share something on the list for #3 too each day. This part I have also been doing in some ways, except without explicitly understanding what I was doing or setting much of a clear goal. I really like the 4 ways to give. I took notes and will be keeping it in mind. I see our biggest problem right now is connection. I can do all this stuff and treat my wife like the queen I want her to feel like, but if there’s no connection between us, it’s going to fail anyway. I’ll write the lists and step up my giving/sending/service game. I’ll be back in 5 days but wanted to share ahead of time instead.
This article assumes the spouse who filed is still “open” or vulnerable to your efforts and attempts at stopping it. There are spouses who will be glad that you’re trying more and being a better “co-parent” if you have kids, because this gives them relief but will not take their foot off the divorce gas pedal. It just makes them think the process should go smoother. But their focus is always getting to the end of the divorce so they can say it’s done. Then they can really embrace their rebound or start dating around and advertise the trauma and narrative about their decision.
my partner of 9 years (married for 2), has just left me. he said i have been controlling, naggy and that he has compromised for the relationship more than i have, i now realise i took the relationship for granted, but so did he. i have done the mistake of begging and pleading and crying and saying i can’t live without him to no avail at the time. I am currently 8 months pregnant. I am doing no contact, currently 2nd week now. and i havent heard from him except to ask when my next obstetrician appointment is…. he also said before he left that he no longer loves me the same way…. does he still loves me? does he miss me? is no contact working? he is very stubborn – will he reach out??
Well…I used to give all of me before, trying to sort things out. I stopped doing all the things that used to annoy him, I even started to breathe for him and it seems that more and more things adds up…he constantly has something to criticize about me and I’m sick and tired of trying just to find out that in the end I get even more criticize, all I do I bad and wrong, whatever I do doesn’t please him so I started to ignore him completely but even so I don’t get peace, he still screams at me out of nothing…I don’t know if I have any power left to do all this again, it’s a lot of work you’re asking for, I’ve been there, but I’ll try it again, LAST TIME shot, we shall see if it works…thank you so much!🥰
Great advice. My wife and I are currently in counseling. We both have anger issues. I admit I have anger toward her and am working to resolve, BUT…our sex life is awful, and has always been that way. I give it 1/2 stars. This makes me very resentful (and angry). I love her but the lack of sex is just unbearable.
Also I have bipolar disorder depression and have a complicated nature find it hard to forgive people hold grudges my husband is the stronger element in this marriage he has got a supportive family is financially independent has got more friends is more outgoing than me in comparison to him I don’t get along well with my own family have very few friends I am financially dependent I feel hopeless please help I am ready to try anything
The problem with my wife is that she separated from me based on feelings, not logic! She “feels” she doesn’t love me anymore and “feels” there is no hope to continue no matter how much I am willing to give up or change for her….she feels that is the right thing for her! I can not change how she feels but know that her relying on emotions is temporary and unreliable.
2022-02-14 … “Thank you” for this prayer. I adore and love my Christian wife Katherine. Today is week 7 of her throwing me out on Dec-28. I am deeply depressed. I’ve been the very best Christian Husband that I can be, albeit with occasional mistakes, like all Men. I have been faithful to my beloved Katherine, with zero emotional-physical violence. I honestly wish that I had never met Katherine, but it was The Lord’s will, and I genuinely love her. I’m at the lowest emotional point in my entire adult life. “Please” Lord Jesus Christ, restore Katherine’s love to me, or else. And most importantly, increase my faltering faith in You at this terrible and hard time. In faith, I will now write “Thank You, my Lord Jesus Christ for the marriage resurrection prayer that I have asked You for months and months. Amen” .
I’ve kind of been doing this for 21 years, and still she recoils at my touch. Yes there is trauma in her past. Yes, we have seen 7 therapists. Yes, I realize I play a part (how could I not), but still we have a sexless marriage. A non intimate relationship. We make an amazing business partnership, co-parents, and planners, but we’re lousy at marriage.
i’ve watched soo many articles but by far this is, you have talked about techniques that i didn’t even know existed. though its really hard to follow the 95:5 ratio bc my husband doesn’t do much, he works about two days a week and home the other 5 days and sleeps all day and stays up at night with article games/tv, how can i respect that lazy man
I would love to see a disclaimer here about the kind of marriages not worth saving, like when the husband is verbally or physically abusive or is an addict not seeking help. I am very happily remarried now–imperfect as we both are—but staying with my first husband would have been detrimental to the mental health of both myself and my children.
It took me until I was 33 years old to realize I had NO IDEA how to show my husband respect. I sometimes slip up but apologies go a very long way, and telling him when I was wrong and he was right!! He loves hearing “you’re right!!” 🥰🤣 As a result, he is so much more affectionate, happy, and always joking with me like we used to.
Thank you I feel like this is some great advice but what advice do you have if Wife left with the kids I’ve implemented no contact and I started to see a therapist she says she wants a divorce but there are mental issues at play for sure here I’m just trying to play this right and do what’s best for the family and that is not getting a divorce that is doing whatever I can to keep us all together and happy
I am really in need of this. Have a 3 yrs old daughter and a 6 months old son. My family and I were separated due to the pandemic lock down between Singapore and Malaysia. Where I used to travel between countries daily. I’m currently in Singapore, working and bringing the bread to home. My wife has signal for a divorce. God give me chance to find this motivation article. God give me a wake up call. Thank you Paul
If you make Jesus Christ the center of your relationship, your marriage is NEVER OVER!!! If you don’t know Him, give your heart to him today, and watch what Christ can do in healing and restoring your marriage!! The majority of marital problems are due to PRIDE and entitlement. Not willing to own your own crap. Not willing to humble yourself. Not willing to apologize. Not willing to be flexible and HUMBLE. Not willing to compromise and put your selfish interests aside a little. Wisdom comes from above. Not from secular Psychology.
Doing this since a few days. It helps!!! Tough times here. Between jobs, coming from 2 different cultures and languagges, one of us grew up passiv-aggressiv communicationwise, the other activ, one is a homebody, the other not. Then a sick parent and a sibling in a horrid divorce to worry about.. Wanting the same things but missunderstandings occur all the time. I am doing the list first thing in the morning.I should be day 6, I’m on day 4… But interestingly: the days I didn’t do the list, I didn’t actively do the rest either. Both days we had a bad fight. The days I did do the list, I remembered the rest much better. Then we had discussions or small arguments. Worlds better than fighting. We are visiting a couple’s counceler too, though. Recommend it.
I have to say, you are fun to watch and real smart too😊. I have a question though, can this work on a covert narcissist? Nothing I do or say is good enough. He is never happy about anything and he keeps changing rules and expectations. It’s either I tiptoe around him or we have explosive fights over anything or stone walling. We’ve been married for 21 years and he is 17 yrs older than me. I truly believe that he hates me. He tells me I can leave if I want, I think he wants to play the victime if I do it instead of him. I’m not perfect, I have always taken the blame for everything and prayed for years (still do) for God to change me and save my marriage but I am stuck. I know we are basically done but we have 3 children (12, 17, 20) not to mention the culture and religious considerations. I don’t know what to do
18 years of relationship, 12 years of marriage, 95:5 has to been two sided. Only one person doing this over a long period of times is way too exhausting and draining if a simple “SERVE” is not something he will do despite self acknowledging his contribution to the family asking ne to be grateful for having a man who is willing to share the house chores. This isn’t all about a spouse. I don’t need a maid spouse !! Why is it I am always the one stsying awake searching for ways while he is sound asleep ?? This is driving me crazy over time !!
How do you save a marriage where my wife took off to another state with our kids and disappeared for over 6 months, and now we both have restraining orders against eachother? I also believe that she has a new boyfriend. I only get to see our kids on facetime a few times a week, and have to go to the other state to have supervised visits. It just feels impossible… I just want my family back
Can’t save my marriage when my husband hasn’t talked to me in a month and he won’t even look at me. We fight we get critical. I suffer from depression and anxiety so I tend to lash out and say things that I don’t mean. But he’s said a lot of hurtful things to me as well. Told me I was nobody and I’m a piece of shot and the physical abuse I got from my ex I deserved it. So yeah we are both at fault but now when I try to talk to him all I get is leave me alone, get away from me, we’re over, what part of we’re done don’t you understand. That’s. All he says to me. I cook I clean I cater to him and his needs. So please tell me how can I save something that’s not even close to being saved.
My wife moved out 4 months ago and we are in the middle of divorce proceedings. I have been kind and forgiving. I realize I was a big part of what started this and have been changing myself. There are boundaries where I can only talk about custody stuff and selling of the house stuff. Beyond that I can not say anything. I haven’t given up but I don’t think there is any hope.
Just two days ago my 12 months marriage has gone down the drain my wife has left with my five months of age daughter who also means the world to me. We argue over simple opinions like her mother is always involved within our life anything her mother says goes always phoning asking same questions all day and gossiping about her friends so on. The issue is I stay quiet n never demand like how my ex wife I think now used too I wouldn’t even ask her to cook. The situation is she wouldn’t ever respect even one of my wishes like for example ” let’s not drive to town let’s walk ” she would explode and demand her way. ” pls come back at night from your mums don’t stay the night tonight I miss you and my daughter ” oh bla bla bla arguements start so on what shall I do I’m hurt and upset and she’s too rowdy but I seem wrong for expressing my feelings and even asking simple things
Gottman is a name I heard in some other articles. I fear I found this too late because I didn’t see the forest for the trees until she had to hate me to save herself. We’re still in couples counseling and working on ourselves (apart) for now… I’m working to change my negativities enough & prove we can get close enough again to try these together. I’m doing the writing exercises for myself until then. Thanks for the article!
I been married 10 years. My wife left me accusing me of cheating on her with a female co worker. I told my wife we are just friends she don’t believe me. We are seperated for 3 years now, have a 10 year old daughter. My wife tells me our marriage is over move on and find another woman. We are always agruging on the phone. We are not divorce. I feel like filing for divorce my marriage is over. The problem is i can not afford a divorce.i must move on with my life and hopefully i will be ok
We are at the brink. I watched your vid today. After dinner I wrote down my 25 gratitude. Then I asked my husband to do the same. We read each other gratitude out to one another, it was the first time I saw my husband cried so hard. So hard that he is sobbing. We both cried and hugged and cried for good 30 mins. I never knew gratitude is so powerful. We still dont have a solution yet but I would like to thank you for this vid. I’ve never seen this side of my husband, he poured his heart out. I told him we are going to do this gratitude for 5 days. Let’s hope for a miracle.
For some odd reason people seem to focus on the negative and take the positive for granted. The assumption is that life should have no problems and I am “entitled” to happiness. Perhaps it’s American affluence or fairy tales. People in other countries that are poor don’t appear to think that way. Life is hard.
Currently packing myself and daughter up to head back home to my parents. Currently I’m in Hawaii and my parents live in VA.. My husband and I are going to separate for more than 6 months for sure.. I’m more scared than anything but I know it’s for the best either way. How do I go on and not worry about him having someone over to our home or talking to other women? That’s the hardest part for me is not knowing what’s going to be going on when I do leave.
how would some of the later concepts in the article be applied when your separated spouse wants space and only wants to talk one day a week about our children unless its important in order to give her her space I feel I need to give it to her to show I truly care but at the same time I feel it is difficult for me to show her and make her feel more confident about my changes and want to work on the marriage with so little contact
Dr Paul, How about a spouse who is a hoarder & was abusive during marriage? We’ve been separated for over 2 years & going through litigation. Sometimes, divorce is necessary when the spouse does not change or get the help he needs. This is especially crucial when a child is in the family. I appreciate your insight & wonderful parenting articles. God Bless you and your family 👼
I ( think ) i’m on the brink of a Divorce to. On easter my wife told me that she lost feelings for me. And that she don’t know if she wants to stay with me anymore . She wanted a break. We don’t sleep together anymore. We almost don’t talk anymore. Because she want distance. We have a child and we take care of her together And communicatie about our child. But further no connection. I really don’t know what i did wrong but she also don’t give me further information . I’m just exhausted. I work hard every day. We have a nice house. There is financial security. She can do and have what she wants. I created a safe bubble for our family. I never cheated. I always treaded her with respect. And i was there for her in her darkest times. It’s very hard to be punished. But you don’t know what you did wrong.
I don’t think my marriage can be saved. He’s been out of the house since the end of April. He’s been with several women. One who thinks they’re getting married. Currently he’s in virginia with another woman, and he’s already told me he’s filed for divorce. And I’ll be served sometime soon this week. This literally came out of blue.
My problem is with consistency of effort. If I get pushed away I take it to heart and no longer make the same efforts and when arguing about something it becomes this accusations match. I want to be able to do the work but I need help to learn how to shed the small stuff and not take it to heart. It seems like the only person this applies to is my gf. Everyone else and I don’t care as much. I always assumed this was because I care about what she thinks so much and i get into my own head and become defensive and mean with my words because I hurt from things that have been going on. I understand all these things but always seemed to revert back to what I was doing. Lost
My newly wed husband told me he is not physically emotional or mentally attracted to me. He wants out of the marriage. We are currently living apart n not communicating with each other. I Guess this has always been a one sided relationship whereby I am the one putting in the effort to make it works. Truly disappointed
Sir my relationship is in a bad state because I have depression and for years I didn’t accept my husband’s family and still don’t fully he is very close to them because of this issue there have been innumerable fights between us I am unable to forgive him and don’t like him anymore but I have to save this marriage no matter what please help me….I am all alone in this world I have no family of my own and financially also I am dependent on him I have to save this marriage whether I like it or not just help me
To whoever is reading this Jesus loves you and he’s coming soon. All you need to do to be saved is believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins was buried and came back to life on the 3d day. Confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and you’ll be saved! I hope to see you in the clouds! God bless!
I am grateful for YOU and the fact that you make these wonderful articles to help people out there! Thank you! My husband and I have been through a LOT, and though we may not be on the brink of divorce, I feel that if neither of us try, we definitely could be. When I try, he tries. So when I see articles like this and my attitude changes, it changes the whole dynamic… so THANK YOU!! This is a great article!
She keeps stating she needs her space and every time I talk to her, she keeps bringing up the past and all my wrong doings. I always explain to her that I understand my wrong doings and I will be a better man. That we will create new memories to heal the bad ones. Everytime we talk, I’m always on the hot seat because I never realized how much I neglected her without consciously doing so. after a week of efforts, crying, begging, I gave up trying and was just going to see where things went without me trying but i can’t stand the idea of not doing anything as i feel like I’m letting her go and giving up on us. I will try this and I hope this will win her heart back.
On a binge! Dr. Paul is simply amazing. Love honest and helpful people. Edit after perusal this article: OMG! this sounds tough! While taking notes I quickly noticed that I’ve done all the “Give,Send,Serve” for most of my relationship and now I just feel exhausted. But I’m willing to give it 5 more days coupled with the 95:5 Focus and 25:5 Gratitude ratios. Wish me luck – if anything I think this will help me rid myself of resentment.
So we are still together and it feels like a teeter totter at times we are as normal and happy as can be. Then something will happen ( I am self employed ) where I will ask for her help, and she will. But afterwords shes looking down on me. We have had money problems, but I feel like not normal ones. She has her entire monthly pay going into HER retirement, but carries a lot of our “needs and wants” from tutoring on the side. However she has made it clear that she will NOT work less to ” change ” the fact shes usually leaving at 6am and not home till almost 8pm, then goes to bed a 9…its crazy to think that I have been able to maintain this relationship as long as I have. Then its like she isn’t intonation the most important thing that we do share and I am expected to be alright with a “quickie” Unfortunateinly I have have told her so man times that shes this “amazing” girl that I have created this person that acts like she can do everything on her own, and Im not “worth” the time investment, or energy. Instead she just puts up this defensive wall and I have as of late been trying to match it. All the while slowly dieing inside. Deff feeling those end of the road feelings from her that I truly never thought I would…SOMEONE PLEASE HELP, I LOVE HER LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE, OR MAYBE LIKE A DOG LOVES GETTING A TREAT!! SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE LOVES ME But I always feel like shes no longer “in love” with me.
great article and comments. I’m on the brink of separation and have been working on some of these ideas. SHE is asking me to move out but I’m reluctant to do so. I’m I being selfish or can separation save a marriage? This week, I have started counseling and began to turn around my tone, attitude, aim and desire to save my marriage even though she has expressed that is done & can NOT live with me. I would like some feed back, thanks
My s/o tells me I get content and lazy within our relationship and it’s TRUE because in my mind I think that it’s just good enough that I do what I have to do. I want to lift him up and make him feel loved, thank you for this real advice that isnt just telling me to leave him because he isn’t who I want him to be in my mind. I appreciate honest advice.
What happened when send a message a it don’t do do. Anything so when you do thing different and it doesn’t work and go all out the way so I’m try the five day change change I thought we was best friends so I do t know It a lot but I’m away wrong say wrong so I’m all was the problem I’m not Perfect she did
I’m about to try this out, I tried it yesterday and noticed that the reminder of I’m in charge of 95% helps so much as a rational to do a better thing. Where I had an issue yesterday was when I was at my limit trying to do multiple things keeping a kid calm while helping to feed the other and then being asked to do a third thing, I got annoyed then thought back 95% and calmed down but that was when I noticed my thought was can’t you see how much I’m doing right now and not well I’m in charge of 95%
FOR MARRIED PEOPLE: The feeling that you get in an affair can NEVER be love. Love comes from God, the same God who designed marriage and commanded us to honor it. I truly believe that God will not contradict Himself and put love in your heart for someone else other than your spouse. The feeling you have for the other person can be LUST, INFATUATION, ADMIRATION, OBSESSION or any other feeling that satan will USE to destroy your marriage (and push you to commit a SIN by breaking the VOW that you made before God). The devil will make you believe that what you feel for this other person is love when in fact it really ISN’T. That’s what satan does. That’s the reason he’s called a LIAR and a DESTROYER.
Husbands and Wives Read this comment as its the ANSWER to your martial problems 90% of the time. Husbands and Wives, the reason your marriage (im not talking about remarriage) is not working is because of the following reasons: 1. Either or Both the Husband and the wife do not Fear God. The foundation of a marriage is the Fear of God. The fear of God will cause the husband and wife to not do anything to hurt the other or when they do, they will QUICKLY get it straight as not to offend God. This fear of God will also prevent cheating and other scandles as God will convict the heart of sin by the Holy Spirit. 2. Either the Husband or the Wife lacks full submission to Gods Authority. God instructed men to love their wives and God instructed wives to submit and obey their husbands. If Husbands and Wives would truly get back to fearing God and if husbands would lose their evil prideful fleshly ways and submit to God and if wives would lose their evil prideful and fleshly ways and submit to God and their husbands, then marriages would succeed. Its inward sin destroying marriages on both sides People must turn back to the Light Jesus’s light has gone out of marriages because God is not honored in the home, nor in the hearts of husbands or wives. Take the FIRST STEP in healing your marriage, and pray this prayer: Father forgive me for allowing darkness in my home and in my marriage and in my life and in my heart. I no longer want to live in darkness but I want to come to your light. Jesus be the light of my life and teach me how to fear God and to submit to God and heal my marriage and teach my spouse how to submit to God and to fear God.
Hi! Can you be more specific on the 95:5? Today I did some things around the house of what he’d normally do. For instance, I swept the pine cones off the pool deck (he’d normally use his blower but he was at work so I did it as to not mess up his tool). Now I see it is more like personal development (watching articles). Can it be either/or in terms of either personal development or handling his chores? I’m 43yo and hard work has ALWAYS solved any issue I’ve encountered so I’m more than willing to put in the work, I just want to understand what the work is I should be doing. Thanks!
I have been praying and talking to my pastor! My wife says she’s depressed & not happy, but she has everything to be happy for…3 beautiful kids, a house, land, and a God fearing husband that loves her! I don’t know what to do for her. I’m so lost 😔 Plz pray for my family, I don’t want our family destroyed! I feel like satan is trying to tear us apart. The kids are sensing something is wrong, I Kno it
I’m in distress and need to save my marriage. I’ve been so focus on other things – work, aging parents, childhood trauma, and now being laid off, that I completely forgot to nurture my relationship. Now my husband is gone and wants a break with very limited contact. I’m determined to change the course of this downward trajectory now that I’m aware of how much I’ve been negatively impacting him. Although I will respect his wishes for space, I will write the 20 things I’m grateful for and share it with him when he’s ready to talk.
this advice is absolute gold! thank you. practical and true… if you have a spiritual practice this should be easy to embrace… but still hard to consistently practice, but wow … thank you for these guidelines… it’s so good to know the research has been done and these are the workable tools… thanks
My wife and I had financial problems which resulted in a negative attitude towards one another. I had to work a lot to keep us financially stable as a result I was told all I do is worry about money. Covid happened and I had to deploy to the border near Mexico. I’ve been away for a year. Went home on leave for 10 days and it was great. I’m a month out now from coming home and all of a sudden she’s not sure if she wants me back. Being away and not knowing what to do. I feel helpless. I know what I need to do to better myself. I’ve sought personal counseling to develop my psyche so I can be better for her and the kids. However this feeling of hopelessness is absolutely crushing me. We’ve been married 16 years. Our anniversary is a week after I come home. At a loss
This was so good!!! We were there and went to therapy but like you said after time we kept reflecting on the past! I wanted to know how to move forward. It was all my feelings that were shut off it’s the worst feeling. Regardless I know you can get those back and marriages can go through that. It’s worth the fight. This is what I was looking for. Thank you! God bless!
After five years of marriage i found out the one thing that makes it difficult is financial struggle, its not like my husband and i aren’t making money it’s just we barely have time for each other and there’s no amusement or new event it’s just work and the kids and that was fine but i wanted more..then i heard of a financial advisor Lucy Maria Koss on the radio who basically makes money for me and right now i have close to 100grand with her in my portfolio. now we pay for our vacation without breaking a sweat or losing sleep
Out context here but do you have a Triple Play Work article for saving our relationship with our kids. (When you live in a loveless or rocky marriage where kids witnessed things like yelling, fighting, no kindness, etc. or the parents have yelled or mistreated the children out of anger or frustration, they are profoundly affected by it). They are kids and need help to heal. Recommendations please?!?!?!?! Thank you!
The job is to not only bless your spouse but to continue to not denigrate your spouse – REGARDLESS if you reconcile. The minute you start blaming or asking why you’ll feel worse and the minute you refuse to engage, you’ll feel better. It’s been a long long haul, but after divorce my former wife and I are dating again (each other) and know we know we made a terrible decision to divorce. But – even if we never remarry I know we will always Love each other and be friends until the last day
I don’t agree on the differences. For example: A person that is quite communicative could feel better with a person, that’s also willing to communicate. Whereas two quiet people could enjoy together quietly.. AND: It’s 70 %, not 70 problems! If a couple has 10 Problems and 7 are unfixable, that’s few. If a couple has 100 problems and 70 are unfixable, that’s eventually more than they could bear..
Hi! Dr. Paul your articles are so helpful for my problems n very thankful to you. I wanna know how to fix a last bring marriage due to bipolar disorders? Can a person with bipolar depression can get married or no marriage forever? Please make a article on married life of person with bipolar disorders. Thanks
Marriage is about making each other feel loved. If you or your spouse don’t make each other feel loved, you’re going to get divorced. Find out what makes each other feel loved and do it. 1. Only do things if you BOTH agree enthusiastically. If you don’t enthusiastically agree, it will be a sacrifice. And sacrifice breeds resentment 2. Negotiate – make things a win-win, not a win-lose. (women are especially terrible at this). 3. Meet one another’s emotional needs. This is not an option 4. Marriage is very much about feeling in love. And you must create those feelings in one another. If you don’t create those feelings, you will get divorced. Commitment means nothing without the feelings of love. Double down on love while avoiding pain. Don’t even just blindly sacrifice. It will make you resent one another. Gratitude only goes so far. Being grateful for someone who won’t work with you is useless.
I’ve been doing most of this before perusal this article. I don’t know what to do anymore. I honestly feel like my wife would prefer if she were single and not a parent and that the only reason she won’t admit it is because it looks bad to the world if you say those things. I’ve fought to the point of exhaustion and don’t know what more I can do. I’m at the point where if she can’t be happy with me then I dont want to stand in the way anymore but I can’t let my kid be taken from me. Especially by someone who doesn’t actually want to raise them. Yes, she has made sacrifices for them but she is literally happiest when I can watch the kids and get her away for a while or at night when they aren’t around and she can ignore me.
So I tried this. It definitely worked, but I was absolutely miserable. I could hardly get her to do something as a family let alone the two of us. Also when I would commit socially, she would always start talking about all of our problems, never able to just have a conversation other than about disagreements. I felt like I was her puppet. I felt like I was the only one putting in work for the health of our marrige, no compromise, just me doing whatever she wanted and more. I don’t want to live like this.
My wife has talked separation and divorce. Also about buying a different house. We are trying marriage counseling. I’m hoping it helps. I haven’t been the best husband and didn’t always put her as my top priority. I never showed emotion, I was closed off. That pushed her away. When I asked her is she will give marriage counseling her all and all I got was “I’m going to try” I’m trying to stay positive but it’s hard
I’ve been doing everything to ‘fix’ the relationship. He wants a divorce. Says he loves me but is not in love with me anymore. Of course it’s not that simple, there are SO many issues. My problem is we live in France, but for the past 3 years he’s worked in Norway. And he’s coming back to France less and less. How do I do this if I never see him?
I will try to save my marriage. Since our son was born (he`s 6 months now), my husband and I just keep arguing all the time. But it feels bad to know that I`m the one who wants to save our marriage. I would also like to see something nice from him too. But I will still try. The first thing I will do is giving my husband a boucket of flowers and a cake. Because this is what I wanted so badly when I gave birth to our son. I wanted him to appreciate that I suffered to give birth. But instead I`m gonna thank him for our son. His reaction must be interesting.
Not knowing what to do when you give up everything to please your wife yet, she reminds me that I need to give up more as Christ gave His life to the Church. I gave up all I had outside, any friends, any activity, she asks so much of me and I now resent her. I ask anything of her and she can’t do it and anything that bothers me I can’t share. She tends to keep pushing the same button on me and continues to demand she wants her way, no matter if I agree with her or not. She has no idea how controlling she is that I need to be her covering in all she does, regardless of what I believe. Our marriage is all but dead. The lamp is about to go out and she blames me for all the problems. I have run out of options and hope. I am empty of any feelings right now except anger of feeling this is one way relationship. Frustrated behind belief.
Well for those that are out there going threw some problems and at the point to where you just feeling giving up, I here to say that it’s normal to feel that way, we all have times where we can’t stand one another or the love just isn’t there anymore, But also we have to realize what are you doing wrong, most of time we always focus on or spouse what he or she is doing, sometimes we need to take a step back and figure out what we’re doing wrong, I really think that communication is the key to alot of things in a healthy marriage, it going to take two to make things work, one can’t want it and the other not, sometimes women need to feel like there in control and when they feel otherwise it could raise alot of attention to where your the bad guy, but sometimes women need to see what there doing wrong for there husband’s not wanting to try, than if you have kids it’s make things really difficult to where the kids feel that there is something wrong because mom and dad are not at there fullest.
Im’ glad that I am never getting married, because I have gotten so used to my single life and seeing many of my friends divorced, also having to pay child support. Never having any woman moving in or shacking up with me, but she can come over to visit or stay the night, but never moving in. I would not mind a relationship or even if it invoves casual sex, but never consider getting married or even shacking up. I love my privacy and do what I want without a woman nagging at me all of the time.
I been married for 9 years and I have 3 beautiful kids but my husband what sex every day or every other day for all 9 years it been the same I decide to MoveOn because he’s been sexual abuse emotion and physically when I don’t like to have sex with him, it a bigger trouble And he’s trying to comes back to live with me but seems like he is not ready to be changed at all so how should I move on and how should I forget about him and not trying to give him anymore Chances
I wonder if anyone could answer my question….. Long story short….. My S.O. and I share children, one is mine and one is his. The kids can cause a divide in our relationship, playing us against each other and of course we pick our own biological child to side with most of the time. How can we stop this?
This all seems great but when you can’t even talk to your spouse because they’ve put up all kinds of barriers to you seeing them hearing from them talking to them and kids and even have been arrested for leaving benevolent messages about praying for your wife and in the complaint she says ex-husband I don’t know how that’s savable. 2 years of this I have to put up with before I can hope to see my kids maybe on a regular basis. I was stonewalled while she was here I’m being stonewalled now. I’ve been defensive she’s been critical we both have been contemptuous of each other. I pray for her everyday feels like a waste of time. What’s happening to me and my kids and through my wife is demonic. I am working to forgive I’ve always been the one to apologize my wife maybe has apologized to me twice in our 5 years of marriage and one was insincere. For a marriage to be saved there has to be some form of communication and right now I am completely handcuffed. I could go through a mediator possibly but my strategy for working on my marriage would include her and an itemized plan for her to work on things that she’s got to work on and I’d walk side by side with her on it. And it’s all stuff that I’ve done too but she needs to own up to some of her responsibility to be an accountable person. Weaponizing your kids and exploiting them against your husband is unfathomable. I have done a lot of wrong things in my marriage. My wife has done a lot of things wrong in her marriage. We have differences yes but when you can’t even talk about the differences openly and honestly I don’t know but I can do it’s like I’m in mourning for my kids everyday knowing that I can’t see them either for them as I have been an active father.
The whole world is set up to show consequences for doing wrong. All have lied and stolen and looked with lust. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. The wages of sin is eternal death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. We are saved by grace through faith. And faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. We must be willing to turn from sin to receive Jesus forgiveness, and to know and live out his teachings. He who does the will of God abides for eternity. 1 John 2:17 . KJV, NKJV 🙂
I’m listening to you talk. Everything that you talk about sounds so incredibly hard. My husband is currently choosing to live in a trailer, opposed to a wonderful house we have together. I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know where to start. I don’t think you can think that this will be helpful… I’m not sure how to do this from afar…
I just can’t stand his voice and his mannerisms. I watch some of the other articles I just feel like he’s very condescending. I do believe what he’s teaching is vital and important. Just something about him rubs me the wrong way. I prefer to learn from marriage helper. if you don’t know what marriage helper is search it right now.