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📹 Finding girlfriend in Philippines (in 10sec) 😏
Foreigner having fun while traveling in beautiful Philippines and exploring a mango farm. He jokes around with some Filipinas.
📹 What They WONT tell you about the Fire Service & Why I QUIT my Firefighting Career.
Becoming a Firefighter was my life goal and proudest accomplishment, I really enjoyed the work and most of the people I worked …
Hey everyone, Maxx here. This article is still going crazy after two years so I thought I would share some news about how this decision to leave the Fire Service has changed my life for the better. The last two years were incredibly grueling in regards to the amount of work and stress I endured to be able to maintain my lifestyle, keep my house and get my health back. However, all of the hours of work, stress, ups and downs ect, it was NOTHING in comparison to the regular stress of firefighting life 😂. I am actually so grateful for the experience in both the military and almost 10 years as a Firefighter because it really prepared me for entrepreneurship in a way I never imagined. After putting fire behind me I slowly started to feel more human again, my sleep has returned back to normal and I haven’t had to many major anxiety or PTSD issues I’m a very long time. My appetite is normal again and my hormone levels seem to be much better. Upon leaving the fire service I decided to take my business to the next level. I started Outsiders Media, a full service digital marketing agency that helps companies in the outdoor and off road industries grow their revenue. This business has afforded me the opportunity to hire multiple employees, do what I enjoy doing and have complete freedom over my schedule and life. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m in control of my life now and I no longer have to deal with peoples negativity, inability to manage or any of the garbage I was putting up with before I left.
I dealt with the same thing at my first police department. Then I found my new one and everything is so much better. I had friends at an adjacent agency who actually pulled me aside one day and told me how they noticed how I was changing for the worst. First responders not only get treated terribly by society but also by their own agencies sometimes
Going through the same thing with a new Chief and his ‘henchmen’; he came in about 6 months ago and promoted all the ‘yesmen’, changing the department to a full-on para-military management style that would fill a drill sergeant with envy. Former Chiefs (3 of them in my time) used to encourage suggestions for improving the department, now you’ll risk getting reprimanded. Some have gone on to other departments, some have retired early, and some even started new careers. Lucky for me I only have 10 more months until full retirement so I’m sticking it out, I just keeping my head down, don’t volunteer for new stuff, and go home after work knowing I did the best I could that day. Keep the faith
Your article made me go back a few decades in my head. Retired career female fire suppression lieutenant here. I joined the fire service when I couldn’t find a physical education teaching job in the beginning ‘80s. In the south. Only “girl” that even tried to join that department even as a volunteer. They didn’t know what to do with me. For example, I was 5’2″ 115# and they gave me a men’s XL bunker gear set and 10 1/2 fire boots. (I wore a 5 1/2 woman’s shoe.) I looked pathetic and felt worse. First structure fire on my knees and I couldn’t move because I was kneeling on my long coat so they thought I was scared. All down hill from there. Passed everything with flying colors for the department, then after six months, went to the academy where was squad leader and aced the finals. Got my fire degree on my own. But no one wanted me on their shift, especially the firefighter wives. (Did the 24 on/48 off thing then. ) Years later when I got my gold Lt badge less than 1% of the country’s FF were women. Even the day to day station things were rough, like answering the phone and hearing the other person say that they wanted the FD and not dispatch again. (I was the shift officer then.) or trying to reason with the wives that, yes, we close the station to visitors at 8 pm and I WAS going to stay at the station because I worked there! They were convinced I would sleep with their husbands! Couldn’t stay there after years so I went into industrial FF. Big difference than municipal. Culture war between certified FFs and the company non-certified FFs.
We’re going through the same things at my department. Veteran members are leaving because the city just doesn’t back up. I’ve got 11 years in. I don’t PLAN on leaving since I have no idea what else I’d go do at this point. But it’s a similar story nation wide man. The service is not what it was 30 years ago
38 years as a firefighter… In the beginning and for most of my career it was the best job in the world. But it’s not always the cream that rises to the top, what is your experience pretty much became the norm… Departments across the country, years ago began promoting idiots to their highest levels of incompetence, and even when administrations could see what the problems were, they would refuse to can the toxic leadership. Tenaciously holding on to the dangerous bosses and letting what were great crews suffer and eventually fail. My last 5 or 6 years were miserable. I hated the backstabbing, narcissistic, incompitence, of what was taken for “leadership” in the end. I was lucky and was able to retire. I feel sorry that you and so many other good men & women were run out by cowards that became what many of the departments are today. Thank You for your service Brother! I pray for peace for you and all those you care about. OLT
My department has a similar problem, there is this stigma of “I’ve suffered and sacrificed, therefore you will suffer and sacrifice”. Max, I’m with you brother when it comes to living with, anxiety, uncertainty, stress, lack of control, and dealing with tragedy. Keep your head up brother, you’re not defined by your occupation. ENJOY YOUR FAMILY.
Serving in the Fire Service is the greatest privilege and honor. You are right about toxic leaders and they are everywhere you can possibly work. I’ve had horrible bosses in every job I’ve ever worked and awesome ones too. The key for me was getting promoted and being the change the department needed. Being part of the solution. Early on in my career as a firefighter I had thoughts of leaving too. I’m glad I didn’t and I’m now 22 years in, I’m a Lieutenant, and possibly a Captain candidate soon. I learned so much about how I did not want to lead from the horrible leaders I had to listen to. It’s an unfortunate reality that is prevalent whenever there is a hierarchal organizational structure.
I’m not even a fireman and I felt the same way. Everything you just said was exactly the reason why I quit my construction job and now hesitating to want to go back into construction. Mentally and emotionally and physically construction have beat me down so much. At this point in my life now I don’t care how much construction pay. I just Mentally, emotionally, and physically can’t force myself to go back.
Man, does you vid hit home..I am still in it after 32 years (as a volunteer) But I was at a career dept for 26 years and retired in 2015. Contrary to what the public thinks, firefighters are not heroes..We mostly all fall into 2 basic categories, adrenaline junkies and narccistic assholes..I fall into the adrenaline junkie category. I ride motorcycles and race cars etc. The best firefighters are adrenaline junkies, because we are in touch with our humanity and truly have empathy for what others are going through. We take care of each other on our crews and do care about what is happening to others. But we do have the ability to detach when its over and move on after a call. Mostly because we have out outside interests to fill up our head. I have seen this job eat people alive who are overly compassionate, who can’t let it go when the call is over. Now, the percentage of narccisitic assholes is staggeringly high in the profession. They love the prestige and adulation that the job brings. They are incapable of any empathy, and are pissed when they get called out because you interrupted their workout or whatever. They frequently rise to the top in many departments and they are toxic people. So..stop looking at your firefighters as heroes cause we are not. We have our reasons for being there, and the ones who love being called heroes don’t deserve it and the rest of us are embarrassed by it.
22 years in the volunteer fire service and 19 in EMS mostly paid last 5 years of which was on a MICU. I started getting anxious and panicked just waiting for things to happen and the lack of sleep from running constantly and having bad schedules it wore me down. I got tired of seeing people die in many often horrific ways, the politics, the backstabbing I just had enough. I didn’t really know what would happen but I knew I wanted out. That was 2014 and 2018, now I’m starting to suffer the health issues from constantly being stressed out, ptsd type stuff, my body hurts, my mind from everything and a few setbacks the last few years with business ventures and personal tragedies it’s just gotten really hard to function everyday. I’ve tried jobs that I felt I could handle mentally and physically only to find out I can’t so I’m back at the drawing board. I gave the best years of my life and health to the fire and ems service and was betrayed by people I viewed as not just coworkers and friends but at one point family, and all I got was this messed up body and mind as a result. I’m 41 and I feel like I’m 80 well atleast according to an orthopedic surgeon I have the joints of an 80 year old .. wonder how that happened? A few times I’ve stared into the void thinking if everyone was better off with me not around and I had to pull myself back. This thing takes a toll even if you go through critical incident debriefings and counseling you can only take so much.
In my opinion, I think it is not just the fire department, but society itself. The issues in an organization that you describe is a microcosm of what’s happening now in society. The best thing is to get out and find something else. I would not have any guilt about how you handled it. I been in your situation and I can relate!
Thank you for doing this article. I have been in the fire service since 2014 and when I started at a small department it was fun. I enjoyed hanging out with the guys and needed the family environment. After a few years, I relocated and joined a larger department. At first, it was great; much busier but nothing that couldn’t be overcome. I began to build a family with the new department and hang out with the guys. the chief was super supportive when I asked to grow my career, and wanted to be a better FF. Then a few years ago I had some personal issue and it was like a light switch flipped. I had to take time off to help my wife and was told to not officially mention my wife in my formal request for time off because that would look bad. I was off for 6 months (the max time off) and when I came back I was treated like I had shit over all the department because I assume, I needed time for my family. I have tried to push through it and readjust but right now I am on leave again as I consider my options. I love what the fire service does, but hate the way the departments treat people.
You said everything man. Everything you said I can relate to so much. There’s many departments across the country that are exactly what you described. I hope people who are interested in the fire service see your article first because it doesn’t get more accurate than what you said. It can be really awesome, but there’s way more bullshit to deal with than what it’s worth. If I could go back in time and tell myself about everything the fire service really would be like, I’d be doing something else. There’s no way in hell I’d do it again. It feels like I’m too far in and don’t have any other life skills to do something else and be happier. To everyone trying to get in, it’s not what it’s cracked up to be and it really can suck the life out of you.
Hi Max. Female Fire fighter here. The department I am at is doing to me what they’ve done to you. I’m so torn and run down, I don’t know what to do. I’m good at my job and they are trying to run me out. Never did anything wrong and always do my job correctly. I am treated so horribly and they’ve made me feel like I can’t do anything about it. I’m so lost.
Unfortunately this is becoming more and more common within the fire service. I’ve seen so many great firefighters walk due to the leadership, lack of support for mental health, and lack of a response or support from city/county leaders. The days of being emergency services are coming to an end. Being an all-hazards agency includes doing everyone else’s job on top of your own and not getting additional staffing etc.
Thank you for doing this. The “brotherhood” had become more like a cult. We are loosing people not to the job, but to the way the fire service has become. I think alot of us identify as firefighter and the though of leaving will leave you without an identity. Thank you for showing people what matters.
Maxx, I just resigned from over 7 years with my department. Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Your experience has so many similarities to mine, right on down to a specific suicide call (out of many), never before experienced anxiety, feeling like I was just screwing everything up, sleep dep, stress, intimidation, etc. I have quit the firefighting biz and this transition is more difficult than I thought it would be but I got to the point that it doesn’t really matter as much what the next step/career may be. Holding onto your mental health and not losing your fucking sanity is worth more than anything FD can give you. I feel first responders are especially vulnerable to be taken advantage of because we (well most) WANT to do the job. “You might be too tired to even realize the shit hand you’re being given” thank you! To anyone reading this feeling they need to get out, know you aren’t alone. Enough is enough.
Been in the fire service for a couple of years now and after perusal this I’ve seen many similarities in our experience. You’ve definitely woken me up to this reality, and I’m thankful for it. It’s given my wife and I good direction to pray through my career and keep the fire service held with an open hand to what God may be doing.
I know what you’re going through, I recently just had a bunch of panic attacks and thoughts of despair. Leaving a job is rough especially when you love it. I worked on Apaches in the Army and loved my job buy constantly got degraded. I got out and now am an Electrician and love my job again. I live in Federal Way, if you ever want to go for a trail ride I’m down. I’m just a bit new to it, your website is great and keep up the great work Max. You helped me to getting through it, thank you.
I’m experiencing the same thing here. I love the job, but it’s a toxic environment. Like you said, they hate anyone different. I’m an actor on the side, and I’m not from Hawaii. I’m not Asian, and I didn’t go to high school here. I’m Latino, and racism is a very real thing in Hawaii. I’ve been called countless racist slurs by fire fighters, and officers alike. I’m just trying to make it 8 more years, so I can get a pension.
Your words really hit, I’m 44 and I gave up my fire career 1.5 years ago. Basically everything you said except the panic attacks was exactly what I felt. The maybe blaming myself because it could be my fault that and how I wanted something more, like my own life! Good job that you got out at such a young age!
First off I appreciate your years of service. I myself am a firefighter for 7 years now. I as well have been a very similar situation. There was a department I worked for in Florida that was the same way for me. Don’t let 1 shift or 1 department change your outlook on the fire service as a whole. The department I work for now is the exact opposite and I do love going to work everyday and feel like I’m well taken care of. I honestly couldn’t ever go back to a 9-5 job after working in this career. You do need to vent though for sure. Good luck on the future endeavors brother. Keep your head clear and focused and you will be fine.
He hits the nail on the head with this. I joined my local volunteer fire department as a Junior firefighter when I was in high school. My dad had been a member my entire childhood and I desperately wanted to be a firefighter when I was a kid. So I joined, IMMEDIATELY saw the high school level drama and back stabbing bullshit, and left after a few months to become an automotive technician (which wasn’t better in any way shape or form. Same crap, different environment). They do make the fire departments seem like such a “brotherhood” but it is the furthest thing from it. I respect the guys for what they do and the people they save, I don’t respect them for stabbing each other in the back and acting like the entire world revolves around them. There is a significant shortage of volunteers where I live, and I’m sure it has a lot to do with everything he is talking about in this article as well as what I’ve seen myself. People are shitty, but eventually you do find the right place and career.
You’re a beautiful person, Maxx. I am so happy that you expressed all of this to us. Our society is in the middle of a labor reckoning, where more and more people are realizing that their jobs shouldn’t be their lives. ESPECIALLY when the job drains your very life force. We are finally starting to question, in mass, the toxic social sentiment of us being “workers” rather than people. You fuckin rock Maxx.
Maxx so glad you shared. Very authentic and very REAL. It feels so good to speak the truth. Life is short, you deserve happiness…choose it. I remember talking to a lady, when I was mid way through my divorce, I was going through the worst time of my life and I remember thinking what kind of bastard was I in my previous life to deserve this. I felt like I had no were to go. Felt like everything I had done up to that point in my life was a wash and for nothing. I remember her after listening to me speak said “Shane, everything happens the way it should” she smiled and walked away. I married her 2 years later in 2017. I’m happier than I have ever been. Guess she knew what she was talking about. Your future holds good things. Keep your head up and shoulders back.
Maxx I am in my 70’s retired law enforcement. What you went through has been around since the beginning of time and will be here until the end. I encountered the same dark energy on the job, you shop around until you find a place with good energy, don’t quit looking seek and you will eventually find. Dark, evil, narcissistic people are everywhere don’t be discouraged keep searching for the good guys.With what’s coming for our country best get yourself in a civil service job PD, Fire a career with benefits you’re gonna need it down the line. Don’t quit looking for what you want, I never did and eventually found what I wanted
27 years as a professional firefighter here. 23 in the 4th largest department in the nation. We eat our own in the fire service. Instead of uplifting and encouraging each other, the majority of firemen back stabb and talk shit behind others backs. Like junior high girls. I have seen it my entire career and have tried to counter it every time I can. Also, the public doesn’t care about you like you hope they do. At least not in the large city I worked for. All those sleepless nights on the ambulance, working apartment fires all night long, missing family functions because you simply could not get off, running on complete BS calls for years and they still vote in a mayor that hates the Fire Department. Your crew is everything. A good crew that has each other’s backs, fades the heat for each other and covers for each other is getting to be a more and more rare thing these days. If you have that, do not take it for granted.
Dang dude. Literally just had the same situation in my life. I only lasted a year with the company. My first time quitting a job but it was killing me and my relationship with my wife. I took a huge chance but it’s worked out amazing so far. And I’m getting some opportunities I never thought I would ever have. But most of all my mental state is so much better now. Thank you for being strong enough to post this article. Most wouldn’t. Perhaps the new mp saying should be. “Live now” stay up brother. Those boys and des are more then enough to keep trying.
Hello my friend. I happened to run across this article and wanted to respond. First, allow me to introduce myself. I am a retired firefighter/paramedic from the State of Florida. Then last 15 years of my career I was the chief of the department. Following that 15 years I was fired by someone that you described to the “T”. Let’s just say he was narcissistic and leave it at that. So, 30+ years of serving the community was never recognized. I left my radio and truck keys on his desk and walked out – never turned around and never returned. The real nut buster was that he had never been in any type of first response vehicle, held zero certifications but was the public safety director. I will end it here – I just want to tell you thank you for the time you were able to help others and we need more people like yourself who can see through the bullshit of the fire service and reveal them for who they are. PS Another $10mm fire station went up in the most poorest section of our community not too long ago. SMH
Once upon a Time a team of soldier went on a training mission. More than a handful of soldiers got seriously injured. And one fatality God rest Her soul. To go through the process of reporting everything at the cost of life changing injuries of the soldiers and the life of one. The courage it took to stand up to an entire command from unit level to brigade. The experience of these challenges are super heavy. But to go through the proper websites and do it right and see the justice is prevailed. It is so enlightening, costly.
Hey man I’m in the same boat. I’m working for a company that constantly tells me “we can’t loose you, your our guy” working me into the ground while they sit in trucks on hot day or pooring rain they’ve denied me every opportunity to learn and move myself further on the company and give the same opportunities to lazier people that do advance because they don’t want to learn but they are good with management. I’m one of less then a handful of Hispanics in my company and I constantly question myself if that’s the reason because I hear remarks along those lines daily. You are not alone.
Max is completely right!!! As a retired military veteran and a current federal employee. What he is saying is completely true in all public and government agencies. They as gov sectors promote yes men and they will protect that person from being fired because that yes man will do what they say. I would also like to add the old saying goes ” you fuck up! You move up!”
I’m a 28 year veteran paramedic and the “old man” at my station. I’m appalled what the job has become and cant wait to retire. The leadership (that knows absolutely nothing about EMS) is more worried about the rigs being parade ready every time they leave the station rather than the real problems. As far as the feont line crews it used to he “all for one, one for all” and now its “all for me and screw everyone else”. The arrogance amongst my peers is mind boggling.
Hey Max I know what you are feeling, In terms of your job. My place of employment (17.5 years) or should I say ex place had very same issues with mamagement. I was wrongfully fired back in April ( I can not discuess why or anything about it ) I am so FREE now and I wake up every day with a smile on my face knowing that I do not have to go to that high school drama any more! It is bad when management hires a family member and that dude is a fuck up and management looks the other way! Timing was perfect and now I plan on doing a lot of Overlanding/Camping and travel. In My new 2022 Silverado 2500HD With a slide in popup Truck camper!! Keep your head up and keep posting that great content! Peace Out Bro!!
I’ve been a paramedic for almost 20 years now. You are not alone! The things you said about not being suicidal but being apathetic, angry, anxious, I felt that in my soul. It got way worse when COVID started. You have brothers out here. Police, fire, EMS, no one fights alone! My wife is the only thing that has kept me going and breathing for some time now. If you need to reach out do so! -Charlotte NC area.
Thank you for this! I have recently gone through this and have been through the same dark thoughts you’ve mentioned. It’s unbelievable how one person can destroy a department and negatively impact people life to the point of depression. Even after the department goes to shit they remain there instead of firing them when everything went down hill when they took over.
For me, this is the story of maturity and becoming mature. As young person I formulated ideals based on manufacturings of my own limited knowledge and experiences. As a young person I set forth in achieving my goals and desires without knowing just how much I really ignored. A lot of the things that i couldn’t have possibly know then, I know now. I haven’t made any original discoveries along the way. Society and all of its norms and structures have existed before me and will exist after me. Despite my unresolved feelings towards my experiences, I must at the very least, take full responsibility for them and acknowledge to myself that I have not been wronged, for the path I walk I have chosen. How I deal with, navigate or circumvent its obstacle, are my choices. Those I meet along my path, I have placed there. So I must be careful not to grant the authoring of my life to any one, to do so would grant me powerless in the telling of my own story.. Extreme ownership my man, chin up!!
Wow. What a coincidence I have come across you. Im going through very similar time in my fire/ems career. Worked so freaking hard to get where I am at and it has also taken a toll on my mind and body. Ultimately I am disappointed because I have sacrificed so much and took calculated risks just to become a fire fighter. Your article really hit home for me. Thank you
I work for a very large company that I will not name and feel the exact same way. the anxiety I get from the shady/illegal practices that me and many other people are told to do gives my anxiety a huge spike. I was in the Marine Corps and I never had to deal with leadership that was this toxic. I understand how you feel because I cannot wait to quit.
Thank you for sharing this dude. I did 10 years in emergency dispatching and just hearing the things that fire and policemen had to deal with on a daily basis was brutal. It’s the same story for all the civil service jobs. Petty tyrants making the job miserable because their life is miserable. I left and went back to school at 30 for engineering because school sounded easier than dispatching (I hate school) and was the only way I saw out of that life. I’m glad you’ve found your out too and I’m praying for you and your family’s success!
I feel you about the army man it was nothing good for me and it hurt me doing that at a young age but luckily the fire station I went to every one is very supportive and are the type of guys I can hang out with out of the station and I been there for 4 years now and still love it, I’m sorry you had a experience like that and I’m glad you found a way out of it
I think you and I resigned from a paid fire department around the same time. I however did not have the same experience as you, kind of just the opposite. I started at a department similar to the one you ended on though. I grew up with a dad in the fire service since I was 4. So just like many other little boys, it was my dream as well to follow in that path. However, by the time I was 21 and able to start testing the department and gone into full swing para-military style in their hiring process. I am all for being in shape and frankly, to be an affective fire fighter you need to be. But these guys took it way too far and ran off a lot, and I mean a lot of really great guys and let on just a bunch of meat heads that have no discipline or respect for the the ranks above them. I was able to test and transfer to a city closer to where my wife works. That’s when my career really started making sense and made me feel fulfilled in my career choice. However, just like you the horrible calls and scenes I had seen had kind of started wearing on me and at the time I didn’t even realize it. I have a 4 yo girl and a 1 yo boy. Early last year my little girl started asking me when I got home from shift if I was “staying the night” that night at home. At the time it was kind of funny and cute. But then something happened in me and I was sitting at the station one night and her saying that had really started weighing on me. After getting off a FaceTime call with my family and missing a family function I just broke down man.
I feel this wholeheartedly. I’m in a similar situation right now in my Fire Career. I’ve been in the fire service for 3 years now and it’s getting to the point where it really just isn’t worth the bullshit anymore. Good on you for recognizing that it wasn’t for you and moving on. I will be shortly behind you!
It’s unfortunate your Dept treated its members as dispensable. There are great fire departments out there that truly buy into member mental health and well being. Promoting qualified, compassionate and empathetic leaders. It’s just unfortunate you couldn’t have worked for one of them. Be well and thanks for the article brother.
I was scrolling through and saw the title of your vlog. First I’d like to say I’ve been serving the public for 16 yrs. Your vlog made me sad and angry. Sad bc I feel like your brothers let you down and angry bc I still love my job and wish you had the same feeling. I’ve been in the same boat, hated coming to work, I asked for a shift transfer and it was the best decision I ever made. I hate when bad bosses kill a great job. I think the further you get from the bottom, the less they remember how it once was. They get a little rank and feel like they need to run shit based on their ideals. They forget that at the end of the day we’re there to run calls and save lives! Bottom line, everything else is just back ground noise! Thank you for your service, take care and keep your head up!
Maxx this is the first article of yours I’ve seen. It had a lot of brutal truths to it and I couldn’t stop perusal. When you have the “right” crew together, responding together, training together, eating together etc…. It is one of the best jobs in the world. But if you aren’t in it with the right fit of people or have a lack of support and leadership… The job can and will consume your life. Especially if you care about the mission and the health of the culture within your department. But the job has changed and the general public doesn’t understand it…. The parts you spoke to the amount of calls we are going on and and the types and how that is an emotional suck and can create a Lack of empathy for when you need it most is a real struggle. I feel like you were on a bad shift with poor leadership and it was too much… I’ve experienced this too… and now as a captain of a shift I feel a real responsibility to help create an environment where the crew feels safe to give an opinion or idea and feel like they have input and are being looked out for. I could go on and on, about this stuff but it looks like you got yourself out of a toxic environment and found happiness with your family… and that’s what matters most… good luck brother!
This is hitting home for me after 6 years of working as a firefighter when i look at myself in the mirror or pictures from before till now i see myself so differently ive lost that twinkle in my eye i used to have i just look tired and worn down now and mYbe its partiallyhow i feel . Ive been talking with my wife about doing something else im just not sure what. She says well look at all the times youve helped people saving lives and property, while this is true the bad calls seem to out weigh them and have too much of a negative impact.
I am about to do the samething. I work for a public agency and I am tired of the nonsense. I’ve been doing it for 15 years and tired of the political games and lack of leadership. I’ve voice my concerns about the changes and turn around in personel but the leaders never see themselves as the issue. There egos have blinded them from the truth or doing whats right. Now I am about to make a big decision and leave the agency. My point is you guys are brave to leave good jobs like this. It’s respectable.
I was a volunteer for a year and a half, while being a machinist and a father married with 4 boys at the time under the age of 10. I finally landed my dream career of being a professional, after a year of probation, 2.5 years of service total full time, very low salary, traditional fire department no medical calls only accidents and structure fire every other shift. Again, I was on B shift, most relaxed and best people to work with. Chiefs, bat chiefs, captains and retirements and promotions happen and as soon as it did, it went down hill. So controlling, so mind fucking, being told your doing too much, then your not doing enough, making 1200$ every two weeks, causing marriage issues, parenting issues. Now I’m back as an application engineer, cnc programmer and machinist again. Making double of what my salary was, making more then my captain ever made. It’s not for everyone, I loved being full time professional. Narcissistic toxic coworkers negative all the time will change a person and how they think. I don’t regret it, I had the time of my life but hats off to you man. You have to do what’s right, and what keeps you alive.
I hear ya, I’ve worked for a couple of departments and truly love the one i’m at, they put the members first and take care of us, both mentally and physically. Night and day difference from my last and i’m a 6 yr Army Vet. I think everything happens for a reason and I’m glad your happy and made the right choices by you and your family. I’m 10 years in and maybe one day i’ll get to this point but right now i love my department. Yes i agree there is a drama but that’s in every job or business you start with, just depends on how you deal with it. Myself i don’t let stuff get to me and I don’t care what people say, If it doesn’t involve me or my people i stay out of it. My dad always told me to not stress or worry about stuff, it will work itself out with or without me, So i carry that into life with me .
Great that you shared you’re story. As a 27 year firefighter retiring soon, I can absolutely assure you that you are not alone and it will resonate with many across the nation in many different departments. Unfortunately too many in the first responder industry allow the job to define them. They get lost and envious when someone enjoys life. You got the key Man … Live Life 💪 Stay Strong Brother. Semper Fi
I am a retired firefighter (captain) and currently volunteer with a busy 6 station department and if anyone understands how the fire service has changed….I do! It is nothing like it used to be when it comes to family and loyality. There are good people in the fire service but it has definitely shifted to a fragmented non-loyal cut-throat tendency. If you get with a bad group it is miserable!
$80k?! I left a full time department in metro Atlanta making 36k! I left due to health reasons but I definitely experienced some of the things you mentioned here, particularly with poor leadership making the job so bad you don’t even want to come into work. Glad you’re doing better! I’m doing better now too.
Brother as a firefighter/emt I totally understand what you’re saying and have had those dark thoughts myself. I’m up right now because I have insomnia due to a 2 month long run of bad calls. Some with children involved. I catch myself picturing a loved one laying in the positions/circumstances I find my patients in. It’s like I m wondering when it’s time for my family to deal with what my pt family’s have to. I do find that the volunteer firefighting seems to be more family based than somefull time paid departments. The service can be a very toxic environment if they suffer from poor leadership. Working for private EMS services are just as bad and the pay is worse. Most 1st responders I know suffer from anxiety and quite a few from depression.
All the construction foremen I worked with are straight up bullies ! I’ve seen men get bullied all my life and I’ve learned a lot about personalities of those that gravitate towards getting bullied ! The bullied never seem to learn from their own mistakes and I think that’s pride ! They try to fight the bull without the red cape and they stand no chance !
This was my entire experience in the Navy. I felt this in my soul. I’ve recently went into business for myself just to avoid these situations again as someone who strongly considered law enforcement or fire servjce but was talked out of it for these same reasons. Being a business owner has its ups and downs but at least you dont have to worry about the septic tank environments some work places have. Life is too short to deal with that.
Kind of been there, I have been a medic for 20 years and in EMS for 26, spent the last year working for a municipal third service EMS agency and the director was such a moron I left a couple months ago! I spent 25 years at a private EMS service doing 911 for 6 towns, and worked for a city 911 contract before that, and that was BETTER and less toxic then the municipality I worked for. I work as an RN now making 25.00 more an hour, day shift only, with decent benefits and a 401K match, nursing can also be toxic, but at least I have normal working hours and adequate pay, and my back is MUCH less problematic and painful!
Been a firefighter for 16 years now and you hit the nail on the head about leadership. Who you work with makes the shift either amazing or a nightmare. I’ve had a couple of bad crews but been with my current department for 9 years and I’ve found my people here. Feels like a family and everything is just cohesive. Appreciate the article brother, a lot of these younger guys need to be aware of what to expect, hopefully they have better luck!
I don’t see very many men share their struggles It’s not easy to be open. I admire your openness & getting therapy, it’s attractive. I wish many more men in this world would do the mental work to make themselves mentally healthy and happy. It would be a lot less single women in the world when that happens lol☺️
Breh, you look like a cross between Stallone and Pablo Schreiber. Anyway, excellent vid about those considering the fire service. I sure as heck did (years after serving in the Navy as an enlisted aircraft electrician and attempting to commission then go to flight school to become a pilot). But, alas, after failing an EMT-B course with a 58% overall grade, it was time to forget about that prospect. One silver lining about it, though, was that the CPAT test opened my eyes further towards maintaining my overall fitness. Cheers, Maxx!
I honestly think it is like this in every industry and i really do push for people to “wake up” I’m in my life in a really tough spot but i luckily do have the opportunity to take a leap of faith and will always do the best for me and my family! Thanks to you and the other websites it gives me the confidence to push forward and make these radical decisions (for the best ofcourse) to be great in life!
Good for you buddy kids will appreciate you being home a lot more and yes fire fighting is very high stressful job you’re 30 years old you’re still young you look at it that way and there’s so many cool things for your future I can’t even remember when I was 30 😆 i’ll be 53 this year and all the things I’ve done in my past definitely have gone from career to career and now I’m retired I call it early retirement 😝 good luck 👍🏻 and I can’t believe I’ve been perusal you for a year 😂 and I will continue ok 👌🏼🔥🤠🔥Camping Russ out
Dude thank you so much for sharing this… as someone in their mid-20s who is a year into the emergency services career, working for a county agency, this was shockingly relatable for me. Especially the “look at us” & high school drama stuff, what you were describing with the jumping hoops and how it all takes a toll changing your mental state was something I just became conscious of about 2 months ago. This really pushed me to start reflecting and figuring out my next move. Cheers to new adventures!
The fire service is not for everyone. Is a stressful job and you deal with many things. The crew you work with is very important and also the leadership can make you or break you. But you if love it and you are hard worker you can make it. Not for soft minded individuals. The way I dealt with my leader being assholes? Worked hard, did my job and got promoted to officer.
I worked for a company for 6 years and there were a lot of perks at this job but the one thing that brought me down on a daily basis was my Manager. Ironically he was a retired fire captain. I can directly relate to the mentality you are describing because it’s how he ran his shop too. Pitching each other against each other belittling us in front of our fellow co workers etc… everything was about perception also. I got really bad I was waking up in the middle of the night in a sweat wondering if I forgot to do something at work for fear that I would be thrown under the bus when I arrived at work in the morning. honestly I think it’s part Of the system in civil service and it’s probably that way because it’s really hard to fire bad employees due to red tape. Honestly there is nothing worse than believing in what you are doing but having someone just completely make doing the work miserable. I ended up standing up to the guy and taking it to HR after he made some really inappropriate comments to me in front of the team and then the company let me go instead of dealing with him. I ended up suing the shit out of them and I won.
This was such a fantastic article … it’s hard going to work when the leadership does not mesh well with the rest of the team. If the leadership were great workers as they kept getting promoted. The relationship most of the times will stay with the team. Sometimes hiring a person from the outside in a high up position can also be a good thing. Just to break up a bad work culture. Plenty of good people out their in the world. But life is to short to stay working for bad leadership if that leadership and yourself need to put in 10-20 more years together! keep the great articles coming… god bless and stay safe !
I lived with a firefighter family. I would have been 3rd generation at the same department. My 3rd attempt to get on the hiring list seemed like a waste of time. You literally have done everything I wanted to complete in life from my childhood as well. I’m glad you have been very informative and saved me the stress I’ve seen my family go through. I know if I was at your station I would be glad to have you as a friend and partner. God speed! You are doing the right thing regardless you questioning yourself. I’m going on 36 and feel no where as accomplished as you. Your right we do put our heads down and follow the system until our lives are wasted. I’ve been questioning the same things. I went to Alaska for some spiritual findings. Lasted until I got back then went 2 steps back lol. But that’s life I guess. As long I’m still moving forward.
Honestly dude it’s actually insane that you were able to keep making content while going through all that and being in such a dark place. I get a headache one day and postpone a article for a week lol But seriously you’re a badass for getting through all that. Stronger than most. I truly hope this next chapter of your life makes up for all of it 🤙🏼
I worked my a$$ off to become a firefighter and during my probationary year at my dream dept I saw how bad the leadership was and how bad the treated other workers Espically rookies. I understand hazing but it comes a point where it’s not hazing it’s sh!tty leadership and then they burn people out before they really even start. I’m probably never going back to the fire service after this. Ems has been a lot better but I’m hoping doing law enforcement and following in the family tradition will be a better career choice. I do regret not staying sometimes so other rookies don’t have to deal with that and end up hating their dream career.
At 48 with two young boys, a wife and mortgage I left a 22 yr career at a very successful and popular company….stepped off the ledge! Why? Because it became unbearable and toxic. I still liked the work and company, but the management was terrible….too many chiefs and not enough indians! Now I own my own business and after 4 yrs I’m making a bit more than my old job, choose my hours and work load and don’t answer to anyone. Life goes on after fire fighting Maxx….most people go through this at some time in their life and a lot of people get stuck and suffer a long time….LIFE’S TOO SHORT MY FRIEND!
Career firefighter for 36 years. Went through 9 Chiefs, some good and some bad. Company officers and crews fell into the same category. After dealing with it for 20 years I decided to make a difference. I became a chief officer and created an environment that showed what a leader should be. People noticed and wanted to work for me. Can’t change the entire department but you can change your environment. It’s a tough job and it’s not meant for everyone. If you think it’s only the fire service that works this way, then you’re very naive. Welcome to the real world.
I’m a career firefighter and this article is the truth. I hate my job because of the officers, bunch of pricks. I’m not alone in this. I’d rather read a book than watch sports so I was the weirdo…and the bullying never ends. Guys sit around and shit talk their wives, kids and each other. Can’t wait until I can quit.
These Narcissistic Archetypes exist in the governmental fields of law enforcement and emergency services and they all seem to promote the same type of Narcissists, which creates an unbelievably toxic culture. It’s funny because I use the same term “cannibalistic” in describing the environment. What should be the mission is no longer the mission and has morphed into some sick weird world. The people that came into these fields to do good are disillusioned and suffer. It is a blessing you figured this out at the age of 30 and had the courage to leave, trust me my friend, regret is a helluva of parasite on the mind. I am rooting for you and no doubt you will succeed. You leaving the fire service is a major loss to the community, but it is your life so go live it!
Don’t know who you are and never seen you’re articles before but was glad to stumble on this one. I am so happy to see you handle your situation in a way that turned out for the better for you. I dealt with many of the same struggles you dealt with in the fire department but failed to deal with the frustrations and emotions properly, it very nearly ruined my life (arguably did) and 17 years later I am still picking up the pieces. I applaud you for handling things the way you did and backing out when you felt it was the right thing to do because I KNOW that wasn’t an easy choice taken lightly.
Thanks for sharing Maxx! I’m sure everyone in here greatly appreciates you making this article and 100% supports you doing something happier. Best thing anyone can do is recognize their current situation and if it’s not desirable, change it. I look forward to seeing what you do down the road and I’ve greatly enjoyed everything you’ve made on YouTube so far!! Thanks!
Shit max that was deep some times I forget your a normal person. this is awesome of you to be able to open up and share your story you are stronger than I ever knew. I can relate to your problems. I work for a company that treats it’s employees the same way. You are inspiring as hell. I’ve started taking steps to starting my own business and I sure hope I can get it going full time. Thanks bro!
I’m a 41 years old and tested for a career department when i was 24. I passed the written and failed the agility. It is very hard. However, the firefighters prior to me testing, let me in to the station to learn about firefighting and even let me observe on ride-alongs. I took EMT-Basic class and rode the ambulance squad on EMS calls. When I realized firefighting was not for me, I started to be a professional fire buff. I’m disabled for mental health and genetic disorder and highly functioning, with a master’s degree in web design. In 2020, I reached out to several local volunteer firehouses showing interest in becoming a member. In a 2 year period of texting with members of the departments and having interactions, I’m at the point where no one at any of the departments will give me a real shot at being a volunteer. Every time I inquire it ends up going no where. It’s frustrating for someone like me who knows career isn’t an option, but honestly wants to volunteer! I had another person, completely outside of the fire service say once that the VFD is like the “popular guys/softball players and people with high paying jobs”, implying that they are a cliqueue under the guise of ‘brotherhood’. It’s bullshit because the way the fire department treats me or has treated me in the past for some of my “antics” while buffing (such as calling me into a firehouse with Lieutenant and Fire Chief to yell at me like I’m a fireman and not civilian) was wrong. They were just flexing their IAFF thug muscles cause they think they’re tough cause they’re a young IAFF.
Maxx, every single word you spoke about your time as a firefighter and in the army were like they were taken straight from my heart and mind. Even the dark parts. I just hit 10 years in the military yesterday, and I’ve been feeling this way for so long. Seeing somebody who I’ve been perusal on here for years now go through a similar situation, and finally be able to hit that button and do what they want to do, has pushed me even closer to making the decision to separate after I finish these next 18 months of this enlistment. I always talk myself out of commenting on things online. But I wanted to say Thank You for sharing a piece of yourself, and keep doing what makes you happy, and is best for you and your family. Say hi to the PNW next time you’re out and about for me, please 🤙🏼
I am going through the same thing as a aircraft avionics mechanic in Renton. I am so unhappy there but where do you go after 11 years and you are near 52 years old. Its hard to give up a 6 figure income knowing you won’t be able to replace that income somewhere else and start over in your 50’s. The depression is unbearable and the anxiety is unbearable.
This reminds me of my final year in the Army. The moment we got back from Afghanistan, the culling started, and they were looking for any and all reasons to boot people out of the Army. I was unfortunately one of the guys they were able to get rid of, for being overweight. I was stressed out of my mind and was dealing with a borderline alcohol problem, and instead of helping me with it, I was demonized for daring to gain any weight and they started paperwork on me. I understand that my fitness is my own responsibility, but they could have at least guided me and mentored me in the right direction, like a proper leader should. But, unfortunately, there were no ‘leaders’ in my old unit. Only people that advanced higher in rank.
I have a very similar story except i was hired on full time at 18 years old right out of volunteer recruit school and mainly due to my last name (my grandpa and father are retired battalion chiefs) . I quit a couple days after my 20th birthday due to terrible leadership that are stuck in their old ways. I grew up hearing these story’s about all these cool things my dad and grandpa did in the fire service and needless to say the fire service today is a glorified Uber service with the occasional fire alarm activation.
Max, as a fellow ff who quit after 10 years i can completely relate. I did stay as a vollie until i hit 20. I worked for a small county dept and totally butted up against the good ole boy system and the brass not liking the fact that I did not live and breath work. Good luck and thanks for putting yourself out there.
I feel everything you’re saying. I’ve been a Police Officer for over 17 years and I’m so done with the city politics and the way they treat us. Everything you said transfers over to the Police side. I’m hoping the public will wake up soon and pressure their politicians, or vote new people in that will take care of the very people that take care of everyone else. Thank you for what you do and for being very candid in this article. I want to quit and do something without burdens, constant critique and games. I want something with little to no responsibility anymore. I will leave soon and I will miss some of brothers and sisters that over years of battle, have become my family. It seems there is an unspoken language that ties us together. I messaged you recently on your web site. I want to get my own wing, and get that freedom to leave the earth every once in a while and get some peace.
Respect buddy. I’ve been in a similar place, and work experience. I understand everything you’ve said. Something’s in life are just more important than money and the job. Being happy is what matters at the end of the day. Being honest isn’t always easy, let alone putting that honestly and reality on YouTube. Keep doing you, and living life on your terms. There is always people who are willing to listen and help. Thanks for being real, and never apologize for that. 🤙✌️
Dang dude that’s actually pretty powerful that you were able to talk about what you did in this article. I’ve watched you for the past 3 1/2 years, early on I was really depressed but since then I’ve been improving, moved in with my girlfriend, went back to college for biomedical engineering technology and I plan on proposing in the next couple months to my long-term girlfriend. it’s somewhat comforting to hear somebody that I look up to struggles with the same issues I do. Love the articles Max 🙂
Your YouTube website did you in. Your bosses were jaleous of your beautiful family, your hobbies and toys. Bosses hate charming people and that’s why they got rid of you with a Constructive dismissal. I hope you mentioned on your resignation letter that your reason for quitting was because of the hostile work environment they put you and your family through, so you could sue their asses. Keep your chin up and keep enjoying life with your family and friends. Great job Powell! Theres always something better around the corner brother. God bless you and your family!!!
I was in a Fire Department like that man, I was working there part time as a black guy in a rural area that don’t move like the rest of them. A lot of them work for the city in the local area and I don’t even know if I wanna apply there because they where giving me trouble like this there, who knows what bs they’ve spread around.
Dude this is every fire department, there is no perfect happy, brotherly love fire department, guys will throw you under the bus for a minimal promotion. The thing with the fire department you have a small group of guys that are good, they show up to work, they don’t cause drama. Then you have the opposite piece of shit human beings that work in this occupation. It’s important to know how to deal with soulless people that are in this job, use your department SOG, SOP, write down everything that happens any harassment. -FF medic 10 years